Sneak Peek into Dr. Rayne's Word Loss Diet Workshop
Happy Holidays, my dear readers!
I've got a special present for my favorite writer-readers and that is... an inside peek into Dr Rayne's Word-Loss Diet Workshop! The workshop is being hosted by the Outreach International RWA chapter and starts January 1, 2012. So if you're looking for the perfect writing related present to get for yourself that can also be used as a tax deduction for the 2011 fiscal year... I encourage you to check it out!
And without further psychobabble-E-goodness from me, here's that sneak peek into Dr. Rayne's awesome workshop!
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TURN TO LOOK
SLIM YOUR WRITING STYLE FOR THE NEW YEAR
Does your writing style have bulges and
saggy bits?
In thirty years as an editor, I've found
the same fatty words bloating the style of many authors, especially novice
writers. Certain words are notorious.
Two of the worst are 'look' and 'turn'.
They are the words most over-used by beginner writers. Editors need only a
quick glance at the first page of a manuscript. If it contains 'look' and
'turn', the piece was penned by a beginner. If those words are used more than
once, they may trigger instant rejection, because the author's writing craft
isn't up to a publishable standard.
While there's no law against those two
owrds, they are often unnecessary. They contain empty calories without real
nutrition make your writing bloated and fat. If you cut them from your diet,
your writing style immediately becomes slim, trim, tight and toned.
CUT 'LOOK'
'Look' is the number one word over-used in
beginner's writing. Many novice writers use this word on every page; some use
it several times per page.
While you could replace your many instances
of 'look' with synonyms (gaze, watch, glance, study, observe, peek, peer,
stare, glare...) it's often better to simply cut them.
You don't need to tell the reader that 'she
looked at him', 'he looked at her' and 'they looked at it'. If two people are
in conversation, or aware of each other, it's implied that they're looking at
each other. If the story describes something, it's implied that the
point-of-view character is looking at it.
Your story will work just as well without
telling us that the character is looking at something or someone, and the
writing will be tighter and more exciting. Try it.
Examples:
Obese
Looking at him, she nodded.
Slim
She nodded
Or:
She nodded at him.
Obese
He looked at her and poured her a drink.
Slim
He poured her a drink.
Obese
As he gazed at her, he scratched an ear.
Slim
He scratched an ear.
Obese
“Xxx?” she asked, looking at him.
Slim
or
“Xxx?” she asked him.
or
“Xxx?” she asked.
or
“Xxx?”
Obese
She looked at the mountain which towered
over the valley.
Slim
The mountain towered over the valley.
CUT 'TURN'
Do your characters turn towards one another
before they say something? Do they turn towards something before they do anything?
Do they turn forward, back or around before they move?
Cut it.
People turn all the time. They turn here,
there and everywhere, often several times per minute. You don't need to tell us
that they do - it's implied.
Watch this especially in dialogue scenes.
If Character A addresses Character B, it's implied that A turns to B.
Obese
She turned to him and clasped his hand.
Slim
She clasped his hand.
Obese
She changed her mind, turned and hurried
home.
Slim
She changed her mind and hurried home.
Obese
He turned and walked away.
Slim
He walked away.
Next to 'look', 'turn' is the most overused
word in beginner submissions. Watch especially for sentences containing both
words. 'She turned to look at him' and 'He turned and looked at her' are certain
signals that the author is a beginner. Make sure you don't have them in your
sample chapters.
Seasoned writers don't use these sentences
because they know they don't need them.
Obese
He turned to look at her and nodded.
Slim
He nodded.
Obese
She turned, looked at him, and clasped his
hand.
Slim
She clasped his hand.
EXCEPTIONS
Should you always cut 'look', 'turn' and
'see'? Almost always. There are a few exceptions: If a dialogue scene involves
several people, and the character addresses first one person and then another,
it can be helpful to use use either 'look' or 'turn' - but not both.
Use your wordprocessor's Find&Replace
tool to find out how often you've used those words. You may want to make sure
you're sitting comfortably with a cup of calming tea at hand, because you may
get a shock, finding you've used those words more often than you thought. Your
manuscript may be riddled with them.
You don't need to kill every single 'look'
and 'turn'. One of them per thousand words is fine. But if you have more, it
may be a good idea to put your writing on a low-look and low-turn diet. If your
manuscript contains more than a hundred 'look' or 'turn' per thousand words,
your writing style needs serious improvement before your work is ready for
publication.
I'd love to hear from you. When you've
checked your WiP for 'look' and 'turn', post a comment to tell me how many
you've found, and whether you're going to cut some of them.
What other 'wordy words' do you think
writers can cut from from their word diet?
If you have questions about writing style,
or need advice on how to tighten your writing, please ask. I'll be around for a
week, and I enjoy answering questions.
JANUARY ONLINE CLASS: THE WORD-LOSS DIET
If your writing style tends towards wordy
waffling, if your critique partners urge you to tighten, and if editorial
rejections point out dragging pace, this class may be the answer. It's perfect
for toning your manuscript before submitting to editors and agents, or for
whipping it into shape before indie publishing.
This is an interactive class with twelve
lessons and twelve assignments, for writers who have a full or partial
manuscript in need of professional polish. At the end of the class, you may
submit a scene for individual critiques.
Dr Rayne's Word-Loss Diet is much more fun
than depriving yourself of food, and you'll see real results fast.
The Word-Loss Diet, presented by Rayne
Hall. 1-31 January 2012
Deadline: December 29, 2011. Fee: $25
AUTHOR BIO
Rayne Hall is the author of more than
twenty books in different genres, published under several pen names with
different publishers. Currently, she writes scary horror and outrageous fantasy
fiction, and tries to regain the rights to her previously published works so
she can re-publish them as e-books.
She has a college degree in publishing
management and a masters degree in creative writing, and has worked for nearly
three decades in the publishing industry in Britain, Germany, China, Mongolia
and Nepal, mostly as an editor.
After writing and editing, her great love
is teaching, and she teaches online classes for writers: 'Writing Fight Scenes', 'Writing Scary Scenes', 'Writing
about Magic and Magicians', 'Writing about Villains', 'Dr Rayne's Word-Loss
Diet', 'SWOT for Writing Success' and more.
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I am always amazed at the workshops that our very dear Dr. Rayne puts together! It never fails that I can always use every bit of the information presented in her workshops. I hope y'all enjoyed this snippet as much as I did and... oh wait, I almost forgot to mention. Rayne has a new book out--Hooray! It's called Storm Dancer and is available now at Amazon! So if you're looking for a great read over the holidays, click the link and check it out! (And yeah, I have to say that I love, love, LOVE the cover for this novel!)
~Elijana
Comments
The artist is Paul Davies. If you want his e-mail, let me know.