Uncharted Depths
Hey, everyone! I know it's been a long time since my author and I last posted--for that I apologize. Apparently, my author was NOT kidding when she said that she lives in an ever increasing state of heightened entropy (chaos). I suppose if she lived in an ever increasing state of enthalpy (heat) that we would classify her life as being hell, but, thankfully, she has not relocated herself to that bit of prime real estate. Yet. Although sometimes I wonder about her.
This evening, I have decided to talk about uncharted depths. In particular, my author's ability to scrape the bottom of her barrel and come up with a smile and a bit of wit to add to her normally semi-organized, according to the demented left brained standards she holds near and dear to her heart, life. (I did mention that she is the reason that the word anal was put in analytical thinking, right? Okay. Just checking.) The reason I have decided that I need to discuss this is because a few recent events have made her pause and take stock in her past, present, and future.
If you haven't met my author, let me say a few things about her that may help you understand her better. She is an over achiever. (Yes, yes, I am.) She comes from a long line of over achieving matriarchs. (Yes, yes, I do.) Because she comes from a long line of over achievers AND because she is an analytical, left brained enthusiast who must understand the rhymes, reasons, and what-fors of life, she has developed her own method of handling life, liberty, and the ducking of monkey wrenches. (Um, Elijana, ducking monkey wrenches is an understatement. Yes, dear, I know it is, but bear with me. I'm getting to the part about you and your uncharted depths.)
A few times this past month, my author received some lovely compliments about her natural voice (through email, posts, in person, etc.) and the humor that tends to flow with it when she is discussing certain topics. To be honest--the humor tends to flow when she is discussing most topics. Hence the part about it being her natural voice. To some this may come across as she has a subdued flippant attitude about the serious matters in life. To others, it comes across as an incredible strength of character and perseverance. In reality, it is both. My author is an incredibly strong individual of both mind and spirit. (Aw. Thank you, Elijana.)
Yes, I am nothing if not kind and benevolent to my author.
Which is why I have informed her (or rather, I am informing her now as I write this post) that it is time for her to dive deep down into her uncharted depths to reach for the bottom of the emotional barrel to finish the rewrites on two of her works in progress (WIPs).
Son of a---Elijana!
Shush, dear author. You know that I am right. You know that it is time to embrace your inner Xena and battle those inner demons that have flanked you for so long. Quit rolling your eyes at me. You have more than enough WIPs that are more than ready to be completed. You simply must bite the bullet and walk into the fires of hell to finish them. And that is that.
Need I remind you, my dear author, that you come from a long line of overachieving, hardly ever whining strong matriarchs? Need I remind you that I am your muse and that I, as such, am hardly ever wrong?
To you, our dear post readers, let me enlighten you to a few details about my author that may have you (along with most people who know her) going hmmm. She dug those uncharted depths (that I have recklessly told her to plunder) in her younger days. How, you may wonder? By growing up in her grandparents' house and watching as her grandfather slowly lost his mind to a disease they termed 'hardening of the arteries'. It may sound horrible--and it was--but it wasn't always horrible. As anyone, who has ever had to witness the toll a detrimental disease such as this one was, will tell you, there are good days and there are bad days. But they are always days. The come and they go. They simply are. You can cry about them all the time or you can learn to appreciate the time you have and enjoy the gift that life has given you. And that gift is best described as a new perspective.
My author developed a new perspective on life and cultivated her own brand of humor to appreciate the precious gift that had been given to her. She developed a new found respect for the strong matriarchs of her clan. (Daggone, Elijana. Who couldn't have developed a new respect for my grandmother when one day out of the blue my grandfather seized up with a heart attack and my grandmother flew through the air like a wingless banshee and pounded life back into him? I will never forget that sight. She saved his life that day by willpower (and probably a dose of pure meanness that grandma picked up during her days in the Army during WWII).)
I'm so glad you brought that up, my dear author, because that is what I am doing to you.
Pounding life back into you.
Your mundane job knocked you down. Swept the carpet out from underneath your feet. But it didn't break you. It may have put more stress on your paper plate, but that's okay because you've got Chinet paper plates. And when the dust settled, you recognized that everything was where it needed to be. It will be okay. Now, dig deep and plunder that uncharted depth you have to pull out the other natural voice you have packed away for the darker manuscripts.
Break out your inner Xena and get to back to work on those WIPs!
Yes, ma'am. I'll break out my inner Xena. But on one condition.
What's that?
That I get to dress my inner Xena in a Regency ball gown AND you summon up a dream or two for me where the hero in the WIP teaches her (and me) how to waltz. And if we can somehow work in a Mr. Darcy and the dive into the lake scene... that'd be oh so inspirational and appreciated.
Is that all? I suppose you'd also like for me to have him where a kilt for you as well.
Nah, you can save the kilt for that other hero who has a tendency to loose his shirt at the most inopportune moments. You know the one who is in that other WIP who (every time I see those abs) makes me want to do laundry in the best way possible. I swear, I'd never finish Spring cleaning if I had a set of washboard abs like that around.
I know, dear. But addressing that little problem in your personal life is on the agenda for the next few months and will most likely result in setting fire to more than a few pages in your personal journal.
And so you have it, dear reader, that is how to lure your dear author into plundering his or her uncharted depths.
Any questions?
~EK
This evening, I have decided to talk about uncharted depths. In particular, my author's ability to scrape the bottom of her barrel and come up with a smile and a bit of wit to add to her normally semi-organized, according to the demented left brained standards she holds near and dear to her heart, life. (I did mention that she is the reason that the word anal was put in analytical thinking, right? Okay. Just checking.) The reason I have decided that I need to discuss this is because a few recent events have made her pause and take stock in her past, present, and future.
If you haven't met my author, let me say a few things about her that may help you understand her better. She is an over achiever. (Yes, yes, I am.) She comes from a long line of over achieving matriarchs. (Yes, yes, I do.) Because she comes from a long line of over achievers AND because she is an analytical, left brained enthusiast who must understand the rhymes, reasons, and what-fors of life, she has developed her own method of handling life, liberty, and the ducking of monkey wrenches. (Um, Elijana, ducking monkey wrenches is an understatement. Yes, dear, I know it is, but bear with me. I'm getting to the part about you and your uncharted depths.)
A few times this past month, my author received some lovely compliments about her natural voice (through email, posts, in person, etc.) and the humor that tends to flow with it when she is discussing certain topics. To be honest--the humor tends to flow when she is discussing most topics. Hence the part about it being her natural voice. To some this may come across as she has a subdued flippant attitude about the serious matters in life. To others, it comes across as an incredible strength of character and perseverance. In reality, it is both. My author is an incredibly strong individual of both mind and spirit. (Aw. Thank you, Elijana.)
Yes, I am nothing if not kind and benevolent to my author.
Which is why I have informed her (or rather, I am informing her now as I write this post) that it is time for her to dive deep down into her uncharted depths to reach for the bottom of the emotional barrel to finish the rewrites on two of her works in progress (WIPs).
Son of a---Elijana!
Need I remind you, my dear author, that you come from a long line of overachieving, hardly ever whining strong matriarchs? Need I remind you that I am your muse and that I, as such, am hardly ever wrong?
To you, our dear post readers, let me enlighten you to a few details about my author that may have you (along with most people who know her) going hmmm. She dug those uncharted depths (that I have recklessly told her to plunder) in her younger days. How, you may wonder? By growing up in her grandparents' house and watching as her grandfather slowly lost his mind to a disease they termed 'hardening of the arteries'. It may sound horrible--and it was--but it wasn't always horrible. As anyone, who has ever had to witness the toll a detrimental disease such as this one was, will tell you, there are good days and there are bad days. But they are always days. The come and they go. They simply are. You can cry about them all the time or you can learn to appreciate the time you have and enjoy the gift that life has given you. And that gift is best described as a new perspective.
My author developed a new perspective on life and cultivated her own brand of humor to appreciate the precious gift that had been given to her. She developed a new found respect for the strong matriarchs of her clan. (Daggone, Elijana. Who couldn't have developed a new respect for my grandmother when one day out of the blue my grandfather seized up with a heart attack and my grandmother flew through the air like a wingless banshee and pounded life back into him? I will never forget that sight. She saved his life that day by willpower (and probably a dose of pure meanness that grandma picked up during her days in the Army during WWII).)
I'm so glad you brought that up, my dear author, because that is what I am doing to you.
Pounding life back into you.
Your mundane job knocked you down. Swept the carpet out from underneath your feet. But it didn't break you. It may have put more stress on your paper plate, but that's okay because you've got Chinet paper plates. And when the dust settled, you recognized that everything was where it needed to be. It will be okay. Now, dig deep and plunder that uncharted depth you have to pull out the other natural voice you have packed away for the darker manuscripts.
Break out your inner Xena and get to back to work on those WIPs!
Yes, ma'am. I'll break out my inner Xena. But on one condition.
What's that?
That I get to dress my inner Xena in a Regency ball gown AND you summon up a dream or two for me where the hero in the WIP teaches her (and me) how to waltz. And if we can somehow work in a Mr. Darcy and the dive into the lake scene... that'd be oh so inspirational and appreciated.
Is that all? I suppose you'd also like for me to have him where a kilt for you as well.
Nah, you can save the kilt for that other hero who has a tendency to loose his shirt at the most inopportune moments. You know the one who is in that other WIP who (every time I see those abs) makes me want to do laundry in the best way possible. I swear, I'd never finish Spring cleaning if I had a set of washboard abs like that around.
I know, dear. But addressing that little problem in your personal life is on the agenda for the next few months and will most likely result in setting fire to more than a few pages in your personal journal.
And so you have it, dear reader, that is how to lure your dear author into plundering his or her uncharted depths.
Any questions?
~EK
Comments
I must confess that every time my author thinks Xena, I start singing the Joxter the Mighty song... he's so... he roams through the countryside with Gabby as his sidekick, righting wrongs and singing songs....
I do so love torturing the dear author with inspirational soundtracks.
~EK
No, no, you are definitely not alone.
Now let the insanity and good times roll--bring out the entertainment!
By entertainment, I did not mean polka music. Or lederhosen.
Argh, I give up--chicken dance anyone?
~EK